Your Marriage doesn’t SUCK, but you might suck at marriage.

1967 Mercury Cougar, that’s HOT!

1967 CougarAs much as I talk about owning a Corvette, my real dream is a 67′ Cougar, 289 with a three speed. I believe the color is called “Cinnamon Toast with a chocolate vinyl top. My parents owned one when I was very small. I have since owned three 67′ Cougars in my life: 1 was an XR7, one had a 427 and a 4 speed, and one was the classic 289 with a three speed.

Just Rusting away

I noticed there is one over in Irvine, Ky on St Rt 89 North on the left, setting up in the weeds. As I pass it by occasionally I am reminded that, when we have something precious and just ignore it, don’t pay attention to it, or abandon it, the precious thing will decay; slowly at first and then it will escalate. That was a magnificent car at one time. It was cool, and fun, and probably exciting to drive.

If you ignore what you bought, you’ll hate what you got!

Marriage is a lot like that car. It is fun, and exciting, and cool, and we loved it when we began. Then time goes by, jobs change, maybe a couple kids come and you begin to neglect it a little. The paint fades and we begin to wonder, “What happened to the shine, the sparkle?” And the truth is not that the car stopped being the car, it’s that you stopped paying attention to it, you got too busy. Then the rust sets in and when you look at your marriage, you begin to see the faults rather then the shine. Soon, with no care, and disdain rising, it won’t run right, and it leaves you setting, leaves you completely broken down.

It’s the little things that keep it shiny

That’s what happens when you stop doing the little things in your marriage that value and support your partner. You know, when you were young, in love and enthralled with that Cougar, you didn’t see a one of its faults, and when people pointed them out, you quickly wrote them off by directing the conversation to the positives. You could expound for hours on how this was the greatest car in the world. Same is true with your spouse. You used to see all the good and CHOSE not to see the flaws. So let me ask a question, why not go back to that kind of relationship?

There are newer models out there

2015-Toyota-Supra-side-e1411579898600
Let’s be honest, there are some newer and faster cars out now. The 67′ Cougar pales in comparison to them; The toyote Supra (above), the R7 Audi, the 07′ Corvette (not being greedy), I’m not even looking at the “supercars” yet. But here’s a point, why compare mine to the new models? Why not instead invest in the Cougar and enjoy the ride?
When the Cougar came out it was amazing. It was only about $2500 dollars. I recently priced one in immaculate condition, low miles, shiny, you get it right, well cared for; $28,000.00! more than ten times the value of when it was first produced. Ten times!

Keep doing what you used to do

This is why I will always try to keep doing the things I did for my wife before we married. I’m not blind, there are “newer models” out there, (see how I threw in the double entendres?), and let’s not pretend they aren’t pretty hot. But the value of my marriage grows every time I invest a moment, a kiss, a date, a dusting of the living room, or make the bed, our bed. Every encouragement, every inspiration just shines
our marriage that much more, why stop? Oh, I get she doesn’t look exactly like the girl I married, but she at least respects herself enough to care for herself while I do as well. She sees my faults, my struggle, my sin, and she loves me and makes me feel new. She invests in the relationship in little ways that are important and at the same time, might seem insignificant. She values the marriage. I work to keep it running, I work at making sure it doesn’t let her down or leave her setting. I invest. I may have a flat tire one day, need an oil change, maybe even a new part, but I won’t let it decay from lack of attention.

Why am I writing this today?

I’m sitting in my favorite spot in Richmond, Ky, pondering my marriage. I opened my Bible and there is a note from my wife. It’s PG but the sentiment is beyond. It was a very simple thing to do, and yet a very powerful way to shine the “car.” I cried, I’m not
The little thingsafraid to admit it. It is the little, inexpensive, things that you do now that keep it running through all the “laters.”
So, what are you going to do today to maintain the joy, the lust-er, the longing, and the adventure in your marriage? If you don’t, you will come to hate it and you can blame whoever you want, but at the end of the day YOU stopped caring for it.

Do that one thing today that will value, or say “I love you,” to your spouse!

#changetheworldchangeyourownlife

PATHS

PATHS

Dangerous path 2

Paths come in many forms. There is path of thought, a path of emotion, a path of friendship, there are even paths through the sky and paths through the ocean. I heard someone say something about a path to someone’s heart. I have walked many paths in my life, probably the single most fulfilling of them all is this path called “Pastor.”
Not all of my paths have been healthy, or wholesome. Early in my life I was on a dark path. This was a path that I inherited, the path of the world, a path of men.

GOOD PATH

When I was 17 I started on another path, a good path, a path of light. I didn’t do real well at first, but I walked nonetheless. As I walked the path seemed easier. I still stumble once in a while but I get back up and I get on with the walk. I like this path. This path led me to the path of Husband-hood, then to the path of fatherhood.

This path has drawn me along various opportunities. This path had me working for a major research and development firm, then for a big printing company, then for myself. Then I heard a voice. It was the voice that called me to the path I was walking upon. This voice called me to a new path that I am presently on.

I have had the opportunity to learn a lot of different things in my life. Things like, motorcycling, hunting, fishing, drawing, painting, leading people, caring for people, camping, and hiking. I have learned to drive a car, operate a tractor, ride horses, rope cattle and even train animals. I have had the pleasure of breaking horses via John Lyons, I trained a dog to work cattle, another one to pull my grandchildren around in a cart. I even had the joy for 30 years of training hawks and falcons to allow me to hunt as their partners.

The paths I have walked have had some wonderful views.

path to the oceanThe paths I have walked have had some wonderful views. From the ocean in Maine, to Washington State, from Key West, Florida to the L.A. Freeway at rush hour and all kinds of places in between; this path of life has had some incredible views. I have seen some of the castles in Germany and Spain, and played as a child in downtown Madrid.

The great thing about a path is that it is going somewhere. It leads to somewhere. Whether it is the path of life or the literal path that you are walking on in the woods, that path leads to something. Something you want to see right?

Amidst all this walking down the path, I am heading somewhere. I have never been there before, but that is the case with most of the paths I travel. This path is leading me closer to what I call home. It is metaphorically the path that leads me up the walk to my real home; what some call “Heaven.”

HEAVEN

I am looking forward to the view. I am looking forward to seeing some of the people that are there. I know some of them; others will be new friends once I get there. But more than anything, I know that God is there. I know that his son Jesus is there. I just know it. Seriously, I would not have walked this path I am on, through all that we have been through, if I did not believe this to be true with all of my heart and all of my soul.

This path has my family interacting in positive ways with other people. We walk together independently. We are involved in trying to help other people see a better life and begin a journey upon this same path.

This path is a path of peace, and a path of love. It is also a path of truth and this path cannot be deviated from, nor can it be changed to suit individual “need” or “want.” The path is established, all we do is walk it.

Dark Path ForestI walked a path once that took me into a deep dark cavern. It was up in Ohio and my friend and I wanted to go down into the cavern. It is a well known Cavern in southeast Ohio. We went down there and the young man leading us, stopped us on the path, and then turned out the lights. It was dark. No, I mean it was D.A.R.K. dark!

You could almost feel the dark. Now, we were still on the path, the right path, but we couldn’t see it. Why would you want to walk down a dark path that you can’t see? Eventually you will be off the path and just wandering aimlessly in the dark.

That describes a lot of people in our world. Not because they are wicked. No, because they can’t find purpose in money, cars, things, or relationship or the pleasures that this world has to offer.

No amount of sex, however wild, no amount of money, and no amount of power, and fame is going to help you be someone purpose on this planet. No, purpose comes from understanding where you came from, why you are here and where you are going when it is all over.

Micah 4:2b
“He will teach us his ways,
so that we may walk in his paths.”

God spoke through the prophet Micah and shared the key to a real life with you and I: He will teach us, but we need to stay on his path. Do things his way. What does that mean to you today?
walkingWhat does that say about where you are, what path you are presently walking?
Are you tired of the dark?
Are you tired of stumbling yet?
God made you a promise; he would teach you if you let him, but you have to choose to get up on the path.

God is not mad at you, he loves you and he is a prayer away with his arms wide open. No concern for anything except you being free from the struggle and the sin.